Introduction

Two years ago I met the exact image of me as a male. He captivated me and interested me soon after I became addicted, for two years we were inseparable. Our love grew like wild fire and no one could put it out. 
"I am writing this letter today on what would have been our two year anniversary had you not died. Had nature not taken its course and leaving me here to breathe this air, to walk this land and to grow old alone, each day I miss you, each day I love you more.   
School is the same still; everyone has forgotten your memory. They gave your locker to billy the farter (I know I’m disgusted too), Reynald sits by your desk now and nkateko is the captain of the rugby team. Baby why is it that people are quick to forget you whilst I can’t? I wear your sweaters to school and only put the cologne you loved so much, it makes me feel closer to you that way. I asked your mother if I could sit by the treehouse where we used sit whenever one of us was sad- remember that time your step dad got angry and told you to pack your bags and you refused to leave the tree house. It was so stupid but I couldn’t laugh then because you seemed hurt by it, I bet you would laugh now- but, your mother said I couldn’t sit there because they destroying it so that they could have a bigger garden, so she could plant more trees but, I think every time she saw it she would be reminded of you and how your never coming back. I can’t believe I lived a year without you, I swore I couldn’t breathe without you. Is heaven as beautiful as they say it is? Do you think I will ever meet someone as amazing as you? Well just know that I love you always and forever, and I hope one day this pain doesn’t hurt anymore but today it guts me to the core. Happy anniversary Nate, You are my heart and I hope your looking down on me giving me a big fat hug like you used to. 
Love your doll
Blessing”

 A few years ago on our anniversary Nate took me to the top of the mountain and went down on one knee. I was filled with a sudden rush of nervousness and excitement. He said “Bless would you please go to the dance with me tomorrow?” he then handed me a Black rose, as that was my favourite flower, it was so cheesy and sweet that he'd still ask me because I always went with him since we’ve known each other but, the fact that he never forgot to do things to keep me as his was amazing. He made me amazing. The dance was at another school that was apparently fund raising for new kits for their rugby team; Nate plays rugby so I see why he wanted want us to go. As I got ready my mother came to my room and said she had something for me from Nate. She gave me a black rose with a note saying, "You are going to be the most beautiful girl tonight", and after blushing and smiling so hard my teeth could fall out, mom handed me a dress and told me Nate picked it out for tonight and indeed I looked very ravishing.
He picked me up at 7pm and when we got to the dance it was empty just me and Nate. I turned and asked Nate if we were too early or If it was cancelled and he told me he had set up a whole dance just for me. I stared at him very confused and He said “ I want you to know that just because something isn’t happening doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make it happen yourself. Your worth my efforts, your worth creating a fake dance just so I can see you twirl around the room, Your worth my love”. These moments are replaying so much today because I know you probably would have done something so beautiful for me. But this year I decided not to spend our could have been 3rd anniversary  in bed sulking so, I bought two tickets to the museum opening and I’m going to see it as if Nate was here with me. I rented a black Cherokee that looked exactly like Nate’s and Put his picture on the passenger sit. The conversation on the way to the museum was just amazing; I laughed so much today I wished this day could go on forever. I desperately need to hold on to whatever I can remember about him,so that I can stay sane and feel like there’s a purpose to my life still.